Stages of Change
Think about all the changes you’ve made in your life. That’s quite a list, right? Now consider the changes you’ve made just today. Maybe you planned on making lasagna for dinner but realized it would take too long, so you opted for soup instead. Small or large, changes are a constant in our lives.
In therapy, understanding how we approach change can be incredibly helpful. One useful framework is the Stages of Change Model. Originally developed to help people quit smoking, this model is applicable to any type of change and can offer insight into our thoughts and behaviors as we move toward improvement.
The model consists of six stages, starting with pre-contemplation, which can be thought of as denial. At this stage, we may not acknowledge that anything needs to change or that a transition could benefit us. For example, consider someone who sleeps only 3-4 hours a night and frequently complains about being tired. When suggested that they go to bed earlier, they might respond with, “Why? There’s no problem with going to bed at 2 a.m.” This individual is in the pre-contemplation stage, not yet connecting their sleep patterns with their fatigue.
As they start to see the benefits of more sleep, perhaps inspired by a coworker who is always energetic, they move into the contemplation stage. They begin to weigh the pros and cons of changing their sleep habits. In therapy, we often explore barriers during this stage. What’s preventing action? Is it motivation, lack of clarity, or something else? Identifying these barriers can help us address them effectively.
When someone begins researching therapists or options for therapy, they are entering the preparation stage. They are setting the groundwork to take action. The subsequent stages are action, maintenance, and relapse (which we’ll discuss later).
Action is when we start making changes rather than just thinking or talking about them. For instance, if you’re aiming to get in shape, your action stage might involve going to the gym for the first time. Maintenance involves sustaining that new behavior, such as establishing a regular gym routine.
Remember, change is rarely a smooth, linear process. It would be ideal if we could move through these stages in perfect order, but that’s often not the case. Many of us start a change only to find ourselves reverting to old habits. Maybe you make a therapy appointment and then cancel it. That’s okay! It doesn’t mean you aren’t making progress. It simply means you might need more time in a particular stage or additional support. For example, if going to the gym feels daunting, it might be easier to start if you go with a friend. Adjusting the process to fit your comfort level can make a big difference.
Relapse is a natural part of the change process. It’s when we revert to old behaviors, and it’s something we all experience. For instance, you might decide to cut out dairy but find yourself tempted by a slice of pizza. Relapse doesn’t mean failure and it doesn’t negate all of your progress. It’s essential to be kind to yourself during these moments. Beating yourself up only makes it harder to stay motivated. Everyone experiences setbacks, and moving forward is always possible.
This model is a helpful guide to understand the complexities of making changes. Some may skip the pre-contemplation stage because they quickly recognize a behavior as unhealthy, while others may remain in pre-contemplation for longer before addressing their reluctance. There’s no right or wrong way to navigate this process.
Therapy can be an excellent way to explore your current stage and find strategies to move forward. Remember, no change is too big or too small. The goal is to enhance your quality of life and overall well-being. So, the next time you’re considering a change, keep this model in mind and track your progress. If it feels overwhelming, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist for support, or lean on your community. May I suggest the Venus House Community?